The only way to show my love
by Fhongnum
Summary: Tamao has a crush on Yoh and she won't tell him her feeling because he already has his heart owner, Anna. What should she do to show her love? She knows she can't steal him from Anna. But she hurts enough to keep her feeling inside. Please R&R Thank you
1. Selfish

**Talk with Fhongnum:** Hello! Nice to meet you all :D I have something to tell you first and that is… I don't own Shamanking. Sorry for some spelling and grammar mistakes, I'm not that good at English :)

**Suggestion: **This story is appropriate with the people who are secretly in love with someone... I mean…**one-side love**… You know what I mean? :) Well, tell me if this story is same as what your heart always feels.

_I wish you all who are now reading this sentence… I wish you will success in your love… :)_

…

**Chapter one: Selfish**

_Love is not to possess…_

_This is the rule number one of one-side love…_

_I know… and I always recite that to myself every single second…_

…

"Tamao!"

"Y-Yes?"

I run to Anna-sama while answering her calls.

"Where is Yoh? Did you see him?" She asks before looking around.

"No, I didn't."

"Hmm, Okay." She says and walks away.

Oh!...H-Hello everyone. My name is Tamamura Tamao. Nice to meet you… I…I… I don't know what to say next… but… sorr…sorry…

"Phewww!"

"Ahhhhhh!" I shout surprisingly when I hear someone says phew.

That person comes out from the bush and points his finger to his mouth and says…

"Fuuu! Calm down. It's me."

"Y…Yoh…Yoh-sama!" I stutter with my heart beat again.

"Sorry for making you alarmed, but now I'm hiding from Anna, she finally knows I unpurposely broke her favorite tea glass." Yoh-sama says and shows his grin.

"But… if Anna-sama knows you are here… it might be…"

"Ha-ha! How can she know? She just walked away for three minutes ago."

"And how can you know I already walked away." A scary voice says.

"ANNA!" Yoh-sama yells, becoming pallid.

"Come here!" Anna says and pulling his ear, drags him inside the house…

"Ooch!" Yoh-sama cries and can't do anything else…he is just dragged away…

When they two left… A frown appears at my mouth…

It is hurt… to involve in someone who I surely know it's impossible if we would get along…

As you all know…

I have a crush on Yoh-sama…since I was young…

He is always in my sight since I was 8 years old, I can remember everything about him…his kindness, his caring and… and… everything…

But…I can't do anything to success my love… because he already has his heart owner…

…Who is extremely better than me in every way…

She is Anna-sama, I admire her a lot even she is the only one whom Yoh-sama loves… She has a beautiful face with the habit of confidence. Even she mostly shows herself like a brave girl, she also has a sensible feeling as well. She loves Yoh-sama even she does not show that much… But I can feel it… because I'm also a girl.

When I look at her… I look back at myself; I could see the oddly different between her and me… I'm not that pretty and not that confident. I am a shy girl and I didn't confident at all when I do something.

Whoever in the world must want the thing that they can feel it can be the best for him or her… that's true and how come it is strange if Yoh-sama chooses Anna-sama.

Well, but if both of them love each other, no one and nothing can take them apart…

I love Yoh-sama and I can say but the way to show my love is not to steal him from Anna-sama…

I will not do that and even I expect to touch him even a bit… you know it is still impossible…

I sigh as always and walk up inside the house. I'm walking inside my room, sitting on the cushion.

"Tamao! You are a loser again!" Ponchi says irritated me and I just quiet as everyday

"Why don't you do something to success your love!" Konchi asks.

"You will give up!"

"You will let he go?"

"You will become heartbroken girl?"

"You will cry again as every day?"

"You will—"

"Shut up!" I yell angrily. Only this two that I can show all of my emotional out.

"But Tamao…"

"Fine! I will answer all of your questions! First, I will not do something to success my love because I don't want Anna-sama to get hurt and I'm sure that I can't do that as well! Second, yeah! I will give up! Third, you can't say will I let him go because he has never been mine for the first! Fourth, I will become heartbroken girl! Fifth, I didn't cry everyday! I did cry three times per week!"

"Uh…we didn't mean that…" Ponchi says while Konchi nods

"So why did you two always ask me the same question every day!" I ask resentfully.

"That's because we want to see you smile when you get the best thing you want." They shout out

That makes me…feel very impressed…

"Ponchi…Konchi…" I say, about to hug them if they are not…

"That's because if you married with Yoh. That means our lifes are getting a lot better too!"

"Fine!" I say and turn away.

"But Tamao… However we are your ghost guardian no matter we want or not." Pochi says and I frown.

If you are going to make me feel bad…so just don't say it…

"Yeah, look at yourself in the mirror!" Konchi says and drags me in front of the mirror.

"Look! You are a charmless girl! White an old white cloth with long black trousers. And your pink short silly hair style. You have no SEXY CHARM on you!"

"I know!" I push those two away. I know I'm not that charm girl! Why do they like to defame on me!

"Tamao if you dressed in the way more girly. You would see you are such a cute girl." Konchi says smiling

Did I hear it wrong…? Konchi compliments me for the first time of my life…

"I don't want to see you suffer from this. I want you to get what you want. You are a good person but you always being too courteous so you have missed a lot of things you have to get. Tamao…if sometimes you become selfish…there's nothing wrong…" Pochi says, patting my back gently.

God… Ponchi first time saying good stuff to me…

"In the world, all of the people have their selfish on themselves. But it depends on them if they are going to show it out or not. You can be selfish in the right time and you can't be selfish in the wrong time as well. But this time, you have to be…you have to get what you want… You did enough those courteous things" Ponchi and Konchi say in unison.

"Ponchi, Konchi…" I look at them thankfully.

"And we… hey… Ponchi what I have to say next?" Konchi asks and grabs a paper from the table and read it…

"K…Konchi…" Ponchi says kind of alarmingly

"Oh it's here… And we will stand beside you forever! Ok! Let's continue! And we will stand beside you forever…"

Don't tell me…

Don't tell me all the good things they said is just a SCRIPT they wrote…

"Konchi! You break all of our script plan that we have written it last night!" Ponchi smacks at Konshi head.

"Uh…Oh… I'm sorry."

Ponchi and Konchi then turn to me and smile sheepishly…

"That's not fun." I say cold.

"We are so sorry…" Those two say.

"I will not trust in you guys again!" I say and turn to another way…

I'm the most unluckiness girl in the world, even my guardian spirits…they made fun of me…

"Hey… We are really sorry Tamao! But think! If we didn't concern of you… why did we have to write a script!" Konchi says.

"So why don't you just tell it straightly!" I ask.

"That is because if we say it straightly to you without writing a script, we don't know if we can tell you all of what we want to say." Ponchi says.

"Why!" I ask

"Stupid girl! That's because we might get some shy habit from you too much! So we can't tell what we truly mean!" They say in unison again…

I slowly turn to them again…

"Did the things you just said was one part of the script again?"

"No!" They say, blushing.

"Thank you! I love you!" I hug both of them tightly.

"Understood huh? It's time to be selfish." Pochi says.

"But I can't do that." I assure again.

"What!" Konchi exclaims.

"This is not a right time to be selfish. Ponchi, Konchi, Thank you for concerning me. But I know Anna-sama don't' want to lose Yoh-sama as well. I can't become selfish to both of them; they are my important people too. I can't betray them no matter what."

"Understood" Ponchi and Konchi say in unison.

"Good."

"But Tamao… I will not forsake this idea… I want you to smile. Right Konchi?"

"Yes Ponchi, I know Yoh-sama is the right guy for you. I don't want you to lose him."

"Ponchi…Konchi…" I say smiling…

"But we can't decide things by ourselves. You have to do this by yourself." Pochi says

"Yes, I know how hard you feel for a long time." Konchi says.

"I know it's not easy to endure the feeling inside especially when you see the person you love with another girl." They say in unison again.

"Even this is a script or not…I… very thank you." I say thank you to them again. Today they look so cute more than other days.

We keep hugging each other for long time and my tears are coming out again…

It's okay if I will cry four times per week…

It's okay…if I'm going to show my weakness out to relieve some of my pain…

…

**Talk with Fhongnum again: **to be continued! Thank you for reading! Review please :)


	2. Make over

**Talk with Fhongum: **Sorry! I forgot to tell you that my story is related with my another long story named **'The secret of Shamanfight.'** Even you never read it, you can understand :) because it is not sequeling at all. Only my Oc I own, I don't own Shamanking :) Enjoy!

**Make Over**

"White cloth…black trousers…silly short pink hair style…" I consider myself in the mirror…and I can acknowledge of somethimg…

"How unfashionable I am! How can I wear all of this outfit for many years! What the stupid I was thinking about for the whole years passes!" I yell…I'm truly stupid…

"That's why we told you." Ponchi says and picking mucus…eww…

"Do something with that…Please." Konchi says kind of begging even he is scratch his bottom…

I look at the mirror again…

I see an unfashionable shaman with her spirit allies…were doing those disgusting things… They look at me in the mirror and making an innocent faces…before…

Ponchi flicks his mucus to Konchi while Konchi uses his hand that already touched his bottom and put it in Ponchi's mouth…

"*SCREAMMMM!*" I scream and both of those bad manner spirit allies use their hands cover their ears abruptly…

"What the heck are you doing?" Ponchi asks confusedly.

"THIS IS THE REAL HELL!" I yell "How can I live with you guys who are very dirty for many years? That is terrible!"

"Stop yacking! We are already being like this for long time why you just say it today?" Konchi asks while Ponchi nods.

"That's because you told me yesterday about the unfashionable things! And you! And you!" I point at each of them.

"What?" They points their fingers to themselves.

"YOU ARE ALSO TERRIBLE! YOU DIRTINESS IS KILLING ME!"

"So…what will you do about that?" they ask

"I will change you!" I tell them hopefully.

"Do something with your out of fashion-outfit first." Ponchi says and that stabs into my heart.

"Ahhh! That's right. But what should I do?" I ask an advice from them.

"Um…" Ponchi and Konchi look at me considerably, "Go and buy new clothes."

"Buying new clothes!" I ask repeated.

"Yeah? Did I tell something wrong?" Konchi asks.

"But…But…But…but I'm too shy to buy the cute…clothes…alone…" I say and rub my cheeks.

"Can I ask you something?" Ponchi turns to me.

"Yeah?"

"You want to make over yourself…because you want to get Yoh-sama isn't it?"

"No," I shake my head, "I only think it would be fun to make over myself, girl needs to be pretty." I say smiling.

"You are too nice." Konchi frowns.

"By the way, I will go out and buy some clothes! See you!" I smile and then head to the door and go out from the room.

But I forgot something…

How-to-choose-new-clothes-?

Screammmm!

What should I do? I'm too shy to go out and by alone…but…but…who I should bring with me? Anna-sama…of course cannot! Yoh-sama…Absolutely cannot! Horohoro-san…What the heck I'm thinking about! Ren-san…Oh…that's really bad…what about…

"Hi Tamao!"

"Wha! Miyame-sama!"

I call a girl who suddenly called my name. Her name is Mahanata Miyame, she is Yoh-sama and Anna-sama's best friends. Once, she lived with Yoh-sama in Izumo (where I live too) when they were young. She is a very beautiful girl with her long brown curly hair till' her hips. I envy in her pretty as well… _(__**Fhongnum**__: She is the girl Horohoro in love with. You can follow Horohoro's love story at 'The secret of Shaman fight'! ^O^)_

"What are you doing?" She asks friendly just like I'm one of her friends.

"Uh…I'm about going out…" I say meekly.

"Where?" She asks.

"I still have no idea about that…but I'm planning to buy new…clothes…" I say soft because I'm shy…

She looks at me…eyes widen. Wha…Or it is really weird that I'm planning to make over…

"THAT'S GREAT!" She yells and smiles.

"Huh?"

"That's so sweet! You would be cuter! Let's go!" She says and drags me out from the inn.

"Wa…wait! Miyame-sama! You mean…you will go with me?"I ask in soft.

"Of course! So I can help you choose!" She smiles sincerely.

"Ah…but I can go alone, thank you for your kindness." I say even it's not true. She is not my friend…I mean…she's too authorities to be my friend just like Anna-sama and Yoh-sama…she is probably not counting me as one of her friends too…

I should know my own status…she is too high…I'm just such a maid…

"Don't be too courteous!" She says smiling, "I know you well Tamao. We have been living for many years. You are one of my friends. Don't think like that!"

My eyes widen…she says like she can read my mind…

"But…"

"Tamao! I don't care whether you say yes or no. But I'll go with you!" she says hands akimbo.

"Ah…So…Thank you." I smile back at her thankfully.

**-Downtown—**

"That's cute!" Miyame-sama says and making a wink wink eyes to me when she sees me dressed in the pink dress she tries to urge (force) me to wear for twenty minutes…

"Arigatou." I smile shyly.

"Clothes can make girls look cuter!" She makes thumb up to me.

But I think even she wears an old out of fashion clothes…she surely still looks pretty…

"But…it is the clothes which are cute…not me…it just helps me to become cute…I'm actually just a normal-face girl." I say

"No! You are already cute! But clothes can disclose your charm out! That's what I mean." Miyame-sama says quickly.

"It's true…that I'm not cute—"

"Tamao!" She says loudly but not angrily, "Be confident! I'm really sure that you are cute…no…I mean very cute! You have sweet face and your shy habit makes you looks more girly. It's good but sometimes we need to be confident." She smiles sweetly.

"Thank you." I smile shyly again…She compliments me too much…

"Let's go continuing buy clothes! I love making a girl look cuter! Yay!" She says joyfully and drags me to another the store…

Hey…Maybe it's enough! I bought about ten clothes…my money are nearly to the limit!

But…it's fun too…

**-At the Inn, Tamao's room—**

"What the hell you bought! There are too much!" Ponchi yacks.

"Hee…" I smile sheepishly

"But they are so cute and look so girly." Konchi says while holding a while skirt up.

"Miyame-sama almost chooses all for me." I tell them.

"Awww…That's why. You probably can't choose such a good things like this." Ponchi start irritated me again.

"Mine,mine," I say and starting giggle, "She said that 'Throw away all of your white clothes and those black trousers!'"

"She's right." Konchi agrees.

"Hmm? You have a hair cut too! I just notice!" Ponchi asks and points at my hair.

"Oh…yes…She says my hairstyle is not that bad but she said I should cut some surplus hair out." I smile.

"You face looks a little brighter…maybe because there are no stupid surplus hair pugnacious your face." Konchi considers.

"She is such a beauty-expert." Ponchi says and nods.

"I agree."I nod too.

"I mean Miyame-sama. Not you!"

"I know! I mean her too!"

_Tamao starts having a skirmish with her spirit allies again among pile of clothes. She never knows there is someone is peeping into her room and giggling. Guess who? :)_


	3. I Want Your Smile

**I Want Your Smile**

**-The next day—**

"You look a bit changed." Anna-sama says and looks at me that wear new clothes with my new hair style while Miyame-sama smiles knowingly.

"Right? Right? What do you think Anna-chan?" She says smiling in joy while I feel I want to die…

Gee! Why did she ask Anna-sama likes that? If…if she says it is bad…

"It looks better." Anna-sama says and I smile in relieve. I actually don't like when someone says it's bad when I do new thing I never do before because that makes me lose my nerve.

"Thank you." I smile shyly.

"Ohayo." A laziness voice says.

I can know who that is even I don't have to turn back to look…

It is…Yoh-sama

"Ohayo!" Anna-sama and Miyame-sama greets him with smiles

"Today you woke up a little earlier." Anna-sama glances at him

"Ha-ha" He smiles at her.

Then he turns to the back and then meets me…

"Oh…Tamao!" He smiles at me.

"Ohayo." I say shyly.

"Breakfast please." He smiles…ah…so cute.

"Yes, I'm doing!" I say and run inside the kitchen room…

But in the unison time…he does not even notice my new looks… Yeah, I'm just his maid…that's all.

**-35 minutes later—**

Now, everyone is eating the breakfast I made, I don't understand why Horohoro-san has to eat likes he has ever never eaten something before…But…that's not important, I overlook him across to the guy who sat the opposite to me… No need to guess…I know you guys know it…he is Yoh-sama…

"What is it, Tamao?" He asks while he was chewing the food inside his mouth.

"Uh…um…Nothing." I say, look down to the rice in my bowl…ah…maybe I peep at him so much.

"Oh you guys." Ren-san said, gets everyone's attention, "Do you want to go to the beach of Tao or not?"

Tao Beach… Sound good.

"Yeah! Yeah! I want!" Miyame-sama beamed so big and waved her hand in front of him.

"Ah…I want to go to!" Horohoro-san then gets up and waves like Miyame-sama did…I feel like he is trying to follow her…maybe I just think too much…-_-;

"Nice idea." Yoh-sama says, he is calm always, "What do you think, Anna?"

I frown a little…he asks his fiancée, that's right. I know…but…I also hope if he is going to ask me…one time in my life…

"Good, I want to go too." Anna says and it likes this is a command, that everyone has to go.

"What's about you, Tamao?" He asks and then I widen my eyes.

Is he asking me?

"Ah…Maybe I think I should stay here…so…help out of chores…so I think…I'm not going." I say…even I really want to go…but I'm just a maid.

"Tamao! You should go! We can help out the chore when we get back! Ne…Let's go!" Yoh-sama smiles.

"Uh…okay, thank you Ren-san." I say and show a little courteous smile.

"That's okay," Ren-san replied calmly, "Well, Go pack your bag after you guys finish eating, we are going tomorrow. My plane is going to wait for you guys in the front of this house."

"Hai!" Everyone answered happily except Anna-sama that is only nodding.

The people who are going is…Horohoro-san…I guess he will go and eats everything there… I wonder what his stomach is made of. Ren-san, of course he will go, he is the owner of that beach. Ryu-san? But he is not here today, he is going to do a part time job and it likes he met a lovely girl who is his co-workers, so he might not go. Miyame-san, I want to be like her…confident and beautiful…I wonder if she has a boyfriend or not. Anna-san, I know she likes beach and vacation, of course she goes. Manta-san, if Yoh-sama goes, he surely goes too. Oh…Yoh-sama…Manta-san is just like me…if Yoh-sama goes…then I want to go too…

Oh but Yoh-sama unexpectedly walks to the toilet, Anna-sama glared at him like it is bad manner to go to the toilet while eating or something. But the problem is…Miyame-sama starts to kill me again…

"Everyone…Tamao looks so cute right!" This time, I want to find something to close her mouth T_T

"Yes! She looks good on this cloth." Manta says.

"Oh yeah! She looks changed, nice hair cut." This is from Horohoro-san.

"Better." From Ren.

Oh…maybe…I don't want to close her mouth anymore -.,- These remarks make me feel happy…

"Maybe…I'm going to cut my hair in bob too…" Miyame-sama says and grabs some of her curly hair to look at seriously.

"NO!" Horohoro yells and Anna-sama glared at him like he is a jerk or something.

"Why?" She asks confusedly.

"Ah…I like your long hair." He says and smiles sheepishly, "You look nice in long hair…seriously."

"Really? Then I won't cut." She smiles joyfully.

I start to feel something suspicious again…Oh…maybe Horohoro-san likes Miyame-sama…um…I notice this happened a lot when Horohoro-san acts something like this to her. Doesn't she know? It's easy to know -_-; Oh…and when Horohoro-san is trying to tease me (Seriously, he likes to tease me like…your food bad as trash…Although I know that it is not true, but that makes I want to kill him), I will say that I know he likes Miyame-sama…and I'm going to tell her that…Hahaha! Oops! No, I won't do that…I'm a good girl…so…maybe…Heehee

As everyone finishes eating, I collect all the plates to the sink to wash them all. But I unexpectedly collide with someone.

"Ahh." I cry, it is still good that plates in my hands don't fall down, if it is…and it breaks into pieces…Anna-sama is going to kill me…for sure…

"Gome, Gome." Yoh-sama says sorry…Eh? Yoh-sama? *Screammmmm!* I just collided him…Ah…how rude Tamao!

"I'm sorry…Really sorry." I say hurriedly.

Yoh-sama looks at me dizzily before bursts out a laugh. What? Did I do something funny?

"Are you scaring me?" He asks.

"No…No…how can I scare of you…?" I stutter as always.

"Well, then, you don't have to act like so courteous all the time." He says but…how can I do that…?

"Uh…I will try."

"Nice, Oh! And these plates! Let's me help you!" He said, smiled and seized the most plates in my hands to his.

"Never mind…it's my work…you…you don't need to do."

Ahhhh. Even though I'm saying like that…But actually…I'm so glad! He wants to help me….Oh plates! I love you! (_Tamao-chan…Calm down… -_-; : Fhongnum_)

"Hoo! Courteous again! I'll help you! Don't worry." He grins…and that makes me only says nothing but let he does what he wants.

We are helping to clean those lovely plates…Aww…This is like a dream…not so much that I will have time to be with him two by two like this…but I still know what's right and wrong…I won't try to steal him from Anna-sama for sure…

"Oh! Tamao." He called me.

"Y-Yes?" I answer bashfully again.

"I notice it since in the morning… Your new look looks so good."

I widen my eyes…I don't want to believe it…he noticed it since in the morning…and he compliments me…

"Thank you." I smile, his words still repeats and repeats in my mind…the first time he compliments me…

"Whoa!" He says loudly like he is surprising of something.

"Hm?"

"You finally smile!" He says and shows his bright smile too.

Yoh-sama…You probably don't know…the reason I can smile is you… You know what…Moreover you make me feel so good like this…more I want to be the possessor of your smile…only me…

I want your smile…to light up all over my mind…forever…


End file.
